Haven’t had a day like this in awhile. I guess you could consider that a good thing since that probably means I’m not as pessimistic as before.

Nevertheless, the truth remains that I am here again.

It’s somewhat frustrating to still find myself back in the same spot. That old cynical, dissatisfied viewpoint. It’s quite amusing how much of a person’s life can change, and yet they still carry within themselves the same doubts and fears.

I do question sometimes whether moving forward in life necessarily means you become a better person. The logical answer would be that it really doesn’t make you anything – your experiences, your relationships, your station in life – unless you actively pursue a particular passion or goal. Do something.

That’s what society values these days, isn’t it? They have a term for that. It’s called being pro-active. I guess this renders the rest of us contemplative souls into a bit of a quandary. We want to think things over and feel right about them before venturing forth, but others would not understand that.

They perceive us over-emotional, selfish, lacking motivation. Why else would someone lie low when they could, perhaps, do something to contribute towards the betterment of community?

The reality is that we are uncertain. That we linger on the fence between two opinions because we don’t really feel strongly about either option, hence it perhaps makes no difference to us. Choose this option, and you’re dead. Choose the other option, and a part of you still dies. Isn’t there a third option somewhere? A middle ground? A more peaceable, moderate approach to things?

Apparently, it appears that the answer may very well be “no”. The lens that a majority see through offers perspectives that are cast only in black and white. Much easier to make decisions, I suppose, but it’s like living in a 2D world.

Sigh. I guess this post will seem like a riddle to those who do not ever contemplate such things. Well, it’s my thinking pad, so there. Go ahead and wonder what it all means.

All I can say is this is not about politics. It’s tiresome how everything in this nation right now is about that. I saw a comment on a friend’s Facebook post once where she was talking about a cup of Milo, and then someone else replied with a comment that linked her scenario to a political incident of the past. How disgusting. Please lah. A cup of Milo is a drink we enjoy which needn’t be tainted by some political undertone. But well, I digress.

I hope the day brightens up a little later on. I shall be cooking soon. Food makes him happy. And his happiness is quite infectious. At least a little consolation for this overcast day.

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