Third tribute

Parenting isn’t a responsibility that’s meant to be taken up alone. After all, 2 people were involved in bringing a baby into existence. 

My experience carrying Jamie to full term and now, raising him day by day, would truly be different if not for the presence, involvement and support of my husband, Deric. 

I’ve heard and read that seeing the way your spouse care for your children will make you fall in love with them all over again in new and surprising ways. 

Well, they were right. 

This past year or so, I’ve been deeply moved by how Deric has welcomed Jamie into our lives, even from the very early days when Jamie was just a Little Dot in my belly. We had this photo album thing that I started to commemorate our entire pregnancy journey with Jamie, and in it, I recall the many endearing notes addressed to Jamie which Deric would add to the collection. 

“Loving you will be the easiest thing to do”, I recall him once writing to Jamie. 

As my pregnancy progressed, there were tons of decisions to be made. Things to be bought. Stuff to be done around the home. All of which me, with my increasingly heavy and huge belly, I could not have accomplished on my own. I didn’t have to, anyway, since Deric was always very involved and actively part of the process every step of the day. 

I remember the days during my confinement period where Deric would literally be doing most of the household chores. This was due to my gynaecologist having restricted me from doing much of anything in the first 6 weeks following Jamie’s delivery, The reason for this was that it would give my body enough time and space to heal from the emergency C section that I had gone through.

I felt rather bad that it was literally a case of me having to tell him to fetch this or that for me, and to instruct him to do everything that needed doing around the home. 

And now, with Jamie here with us and part of the family, I continue to be encouraged each time I see how Deric connects with Jamie every evening after he gets home from work. 

I suppose for others reading this it may all sound too ordinary. Just the regular things that a spouse is supposed to do and should do. 

But to me, all Deric does for our family each day really means a whole lot. Especially the enthusiasm with which he does it. For me. For Jamie. For our family. 

He could, as a husband, get away by doing far less, but he doesn’t choose to do so. 

Today marks the 3 year anniversary of our marriage. It may be a short span compared to the track record laid by those ahead of us, nevertheless I think it is still significant and good reason to rejoice and celebrate. 

Deric and I have made it this far, and that means we can keep it up for the many more years to come. As many as God in His graciousness will afford us. 

In this 3 year period, we have gone through a fair bit of experiences together. 

Excluding the experience of becoming parents to Jamie, we also weathered a difficult season of caring for Deric’s dad all the way in JB. There was a time that we would make the journey from PJ to JB every weekend. It was tiring, but we would go together and it wasn’t so bad. Then, when Deric’s dad finally passed on, we faced the task of planning the funeral and tying up the loose ends by ourselves, without the help of any other relatives. It was tough as well, yet we managed. 

We also painstakingly put our home together over the last 3 years – one piece of furniture at a time. We painted walls, fixed cabinets, stayed up late to plan the layout of a built-in wardrobe and unpacked boxes and boxes of belongings that we had each brought into the home from the days of our singlehood. 

We served together in the worship team in 180. Hosted weekly Bible study sessions for our Circle (read: cell group). 

Talked about our career goals and dreams. Achieved some, tried out some, gave up on some. 

Listened to good music. 

Mused and mulled over current issues taking place in the nation.

Managed finances together, keeping a detailed, daily account of everything we spent on via a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet. 

All these and more. And through all of that, I’ve come to realise time and again that I have indeed married the right person. I may not have planned for most of the things that happened to turn out the way they did. I did not even expect to meet someone like Deric at the particular juncture of my life when we did get acquainted. 

But somehow, God knew all along. And He provided. 

Singles spend a whole lot of time pondering over the question of what they should look for in a life partner. 

I can now say, having been married for awhile, that I know the answer: 

Marry the one with whom it is a joy to share life’s experiences with. Whose character is one that you respect and have grown to depend on because you realise you cannot do without them. The one whose arms you know will always welcome you home and whose voice will always cheer you on. 

Whose ambitions and personailty may be vastly different from yours, but who is still able to appreciate and respect you for who you are and what you believe in and dream about. 

Commit yourself in marriage to that one person, whom, although he isn’t perfect, loves you perfectly. 

Happy third anniversary , Deric. I love you. I’m blessed to have you in my life and look forward to making lots more wonderful memories with you in the years to come. 

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