Rumination

So I somewhat abruptly abandoned this blog due to the appearance of ads on it. Which was brought about by the fact that I was unable to get a renewed subscription for the blog in a similar manner that I had for it previously (thanks to a certain “friend” pfft).

Now and then (like right now, for instance) I do wonder if it was a bad thing to leave this WordPress blog because, quite honestly, I do love using WordPress. But I do have issue with having to pay for maintaining a blog at the moment because I feel like I’m not doing justice to money spent with how erratic I am at updating.

All this mostly being a reflection of how terribly disorganised and indecisive I am.

I cannot deny that I do feel like a failure very often. I guess this kind of feeling never really goes away.

I’m just here momentarily to say that I miss this blog. Yet I don’t know is it worth maintaining or reviving at all.

And to top it all off, I’m not sure if I’m worth the resources to keep me alive in this world at all actually.

What? Ads?

So I haven’t blogged in awhile. And returned lately to a downgraded subscription AND the sudden appearance of (unwanted) ads on my blog. Aargh.

Okay, where how do I unsubscribe now?!

These ads are ugly plus I don’t really know if I can even control what sort of stuff comes up.

As someone who is a little on the sensitive side when it comes to multimedia content, I dislike this situation very much. I don’t like the thought of images that I didn’t solicit and may even find disturbing appearing suddenly on MY site.

Pfft.

Well, let’s see what sort of alternatives I can explore before considering whether to even pay for any subscription package on WordPress. Perhaps this is just the nudge I need to move along out of here and reawaken my IT skills and DESIGN A DECENT BLOG FOR A CHANGE.

Let’s see, shall we? Let’s see…

Chips and chunks

They said to write every day, dear Reader. What they didn’t include as part of that advice was WHAT to write about.

I mean, what exactly is there about my life that is intriguing enough that you would linger here to read about? How different would my world be from yours?

What’s more, living in a tropical climate like this where the weather is the same all year round doesn’t quite lend itself to as much adventure and mystique as would other faraway places where there are at least four different seasons to each year.

It’s hot here. And humid. Just that.

Oh, and we’ve plenty of juicy, tasty fruits.

And since we’re talking right now, might as well say that it’s Friday too. How do you like Fridays? I do. I like them a lot actually. But perhaps they disappoint more than they deliver, just because of how fond I am of them and how much I expect out of them.

Well, no use hanging around if I’ve not much else to say. Will be back, I suppose.

Meanwhile, dear Reader, hang on to these words. To each and every last one of them. ‘Till next I return.

Crossroads

There is a part of me that wants to give up.

In the face of turning 40 this year, I do wonder what’s really worth holding on to and what ought to just be simply let go of.

A contemplation of a half full vs. half empty glass.

Fact over fiction: Is it a question of grit or obstinacy now?

Is the acceptance of things as they are a form of failure to try or just simply being realistic and practical?

Meanwhile, these clocks, they keep ticking time. They never cease to remind.

What makes it all worthwhile? I am trying to recall.

Another side of me is still bent on hanging on. It feels like grasping at straws, more or less.

“Life begins at the intersection,” said a song I once avidly listened to.

What ends will meet at these crossroads? Perhaps it’s worth a trip out to see.

Remembering

Every time I consider a mass deletion exercise for my age-old Gmail content, something pops up and makes me hesitate.

This round, it came in the form of a brief correspondence I once had with a uni mate who was keen on learning drums. I have absolutely no recollection of this person concerned, to be honest. But it was interesting reading what we said to each other back in the day.

I guess that’s mostly because it’s one of those rare opportunities where I get to rediscover what my former self was like. It gets increasingly hard to remember such details once so many other years come in between (the email I mentioned had been written back in 2007).

Things like letters, emails, cards, photos… they bring those moments back to life. It may be just a small glimpse, but for awhile, you’re reliving something that once happened. Where you once were. What it was like before. Even if just for a few seconds or minutes.

I know these things don’t really amount to anything much in the grander scheme of things (doesn’t really change any major life outcomes). Nevertheless, it still remains a fascination of mine. To realise I was this whole other person and that those tiny things that took place all add up to make me who I am today.

In this particular instance, I guess I was happy to note that I was kind and friendly to a stranger. Well, he wasn’t entirely, but mostly… and I think this matters because I feel that the way we respond to strangers says a lot about our character. We aren’t bound in any way to be nice to people we don’t know. So when we are, it means we are being compassionate and that is a good thing.

I’m glad I was somewhat a decent human being back then. I sincerely hope I still am one today.

* * *

Dear Reader, how have you been lately?

Do you dwell in the realm of Nostalgia and the whimsical world of Possibilities in the same manner that I do?

I suppose it’s not an ideal thing to do, since as Living Beings we ought to always be in the business of Moving Forward and not Looking Back.

But Memories… that’s what makes us who we are, does it not? If we give them up, doesn’t that leave us mere shells of existence?

What do you think of that? Write me.